An absolutely true and complete history of Hawaii.
Sometimes gambling comes up trumps. The Earl of Sandwich, being too engrossed in his game to leave the gaming table, ordered meat to be brought betwixt rounds of bread: hence the sandwich. When Captain Cook arrived at the Polynesian’s table he didn’t forget his manners and named all after the Earl. Captain Cook was later killed at Kona, coffee was planted in his honour (at least on his grave) and, with the addition of Spanish pineapples, ship-jumping Chinese and Tom Selleck, Hawaii was ready to go.
After some faffing around with local royalty, Hawaii eventually came to it’s senses and became an American state, supplying Macadamia nuts to every hotel in America worth a couple of stars, as well as a theme tune you just can’t get out of your head.