Archive for category Rants+Moans

What’s the difference between a Mac and an Etch-a-Sketch?

You don’t have to shake the Mac to clear the screen.


Salivating Dogs, Inc. of Ohio has unveiled the “Clue Delivery System”

(CDS), a small device that plugs into the back of a standard PC keyboard
and delivers a mild electric shock whenever the user does something
stupid. The device is triggered by a Windows program that detects when the
user attempts to open an unsolicited email attachment or perform another
equally dangerous virus-friendly action
.

 

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… everyone needs a hobby!

The old addage “Drugs aren’t illegal because they’re dangerous, they’re dangerous because they’re illegal.” couldn’t be more true in these web-based, cyber-spaced-out times in which we find ourselves. Containing everything from uranium to the ingredients for a  decent concrete, internet drugs are the most efficient way to waste your money in the most harmful way imaginable. From stuff you inject with a turkey baster to get a tan to cement based drugs to slow down your heart. It used to be that all you had to put up with was sugar, chalk and Italian laxative but in these days of globalisation everything and anything that can be found, ground and stuffed into a gelatin cap is fair game.

Ironically, most of these drugs aren’t actually bought by the denizens of the 3rd world countries which produce them, but by 1st world consumers who are unfortunate enough to live in democratised semi-socialist semi-hells where everything useful is immediately rationed, restricted or totally banned.

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The light is not bright and you can whimper if you want to.

It will come to a point where there is nowhere I can go . Nowhere to go so that I can escape. I will not be able to get away. I will not be able to stand it any longer. There will come a point when the consequences seem small and the action unavoidable – something that must be done. I will do it. I will kill them all.

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Brain Fried – Core Dumped

Opinions formed on the back of no information at all are exceedingly difficult to dislodge.

From newspapers, T.V. “news”, magazines and the internet (courtesy of so-called “answer” sites – whose contributors generally have an opinion on everything except the English language – through to all too pervasive “encyclopaedias”), come ready-made opinions for you to choose from (if you’re stuck, doubtless there are a plethora of web-sites which will make the choice for you).

Irrational and baseless opinion forming is, after all, the foundation of politics (party, earth, and social), brand loyalty and many, many social paradigms. It’s a syndrome which has often been annoying, is always tedious and sometimes downright dangerous.

The last few years, however, we have had a new mutation to contend with: QI syndrome …

So, now people get even more supercilious and condescending because they’ve “heard it on QI”. For those of you who don’t know:  QI is a T.V. show which purports to entertain by presenting little-known “facts” in an entertaining and informative way. Never mind about proof (our researchers are better than your researchers); never mind about citations (because we say so); never mind about qualifying, quantifying or naming our (scientific) sources and definitely never mind if we’re plain wrong.

Still, we must never mind, as it’s entertainment for thinking people.

Thinking people like us.

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What can you steal from me that is not already lost?

Who steals my identity steals trash; ’tis something, nothing;
Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he that filches from me my laptop
Robs me of that which not enriches him (for it hath fingerprint logon)
And makes me poor indeed (for it is my soul).

[Tim Shreeve et al]

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